January 27, 2006

And I Don't Mean Maybe!


My Fat Self: "Hey..Those are cute! Where did you get them?"

Me: "An early birthday present from M."

FS: "Awesome! What are they?"

Me: "They're running shoes."

FS: "Why'd he get you running shoes? We don't run."

"We're going to start. We're running a 5K in June."

"HAHAHAHHHHEHEEEEEEEHAHAoooowheeze. You are hilarious, woman. You almost had me there for a minute."

"I'm serious."

"You're wh- Now come on. So you've done a few days of exercise-

"-a month, not a few days-"

"Don't interrupt. And you think that now your a big fancy, schmancy runner? Puhlease."

"No, I think that I am a person who is going to learn how to run. I probably won't be very good at it, and it will hurt, and I'll puff and wheeze, and I'm sure I'll have you bitching in my ear the entire time, but we're doing this."

(Fat Self sighs.) "Alright. I'll humor you. I mean, you can't run NOW anyway, not in all this snow. You'll have forgotten all about it by spring."

"Actually, I also ordered this today. It's to help get us up to speed, so the minute the weather clears, we'll be ready to go."

"Good Lord woman, you've gone mad. I thought you were all done with this stuff. I mean, you aren't weighing yourself anymore."

"Temporarily, and only because I don't like the way you talk to me when I get on the scale."

"Oversensitive whiner."

"See? You better sit down, there's more."

"More?"

"Yes. Tomorrow, we're giving up sugar."

"HEE. You really are losing it. We can't give up sugar. We're addicted."

"I know. That's why we're giving it up."

"Really, you're scaring me. You need to stop talking crazy."

"I'm not crazy. For the next two days, no sugar, and as few carbs as possible."

"Why? WHY? WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SUGGEST SUCH A THING?"

"After two days, if we can handle it, that will be the status quo for a while."

"You know, you've had this weight loss bug up your butt for about 4 months now. What gives? Why is it so important to you?"

"Let's see...my health. My kids. The way I feel. Fitting into my clothes. Being active. Because the Surgeon General says so. How many reasons do you need?"

"What do you mean -- your health? Overeating hasn't hurt you yet."

"Ummm..have you seen our gallbladder lately? NO. Because they had to remove it. And that ultrasound that came back saying "suspected fatty infiltration of the liver?" That certainly sounds like a potential health problem to me."

"You won't be able to keep it up."

"I can. And and so will you."

"But I'm happy being fat. It's easier this way. I like food. I don't know how to comfort myself any other way."

"I know. And I'm sorry this is so hard for you."

"I'm scared."

"I am too. Change is hard. But this is good change. In a few weeks, we'll be looking and feeling better than we have in years."

"I'm going to fight you tooth and nail, you know that don't you?"

"We have done it your way for the last 10+ years. Of course I know that. I'll listen to a little bitching, but if you get in my way, I'm going to have to smack you down. I mean that in the nicest of ways, of course."

"Man you're ornery, are you about to start your period?"

"Good night, Fat Self. I look forward to the day when you and I are one person again."

8 Comments:

Blogger Margaret said...

I thought you were going to walk your 5K. I'm impressed that you're going to prep to RUN it. Go for it.

btw - you're starting to sound a bit schizophrenic with your fat self. :-) Next we'll see you on the big screen starring in "Beautiful Fat Mind"

January 28, 2006 7:50 AM  
Blogger Lauri said...

Go for it- aim high-keep your eye on the prize- you can do it- dont give up- keep going- Im proud of you- Way to go- I knew you could do it- Thatta Girl

There are my positive encouraging comments to keep you going while Im in Russia for a week- I know you dont "live" for my comments but i just wanted to be a good fellow blogger. You inspire me to keep my weight loss goal- I have been a wee side tracked latley

January 28, 2006 8:00 AM  
Blogger Her Grace said...

Lauri-

Thanks for the stockpile of encouraging words. I'll be thinking of you while you're in Russia, and can't wait to hear all about it when you get back!

January 28, 2006 9:12 AM  
Blogger Holly said...

glad to know i'm not the only one that has unpleasant conversations with myself.

i'll be thinking about you, and your new resolve against sugar/carbs. it's hard but it's important.

January 28, 2006 10:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Keep it going. And don't get on the scale too often. Weight loss is a long term thing, and your weight will fluctuate but, if you're exercising and cutting back on food intake, it WILL trend down. The problem with getting on the scale too often is that sometimes it blips up, for any number of reasons, esp., water or monthly cycle. If you get on the scale on an up blip the day after a down blip, it is really demoralizing and kills motivation. But if you get on every two weeks or so, overall it will have gone down, so you don't have to worry about blips. And the slower you're losing, the longer it stays off. And keep in mind, losing one pound is better than losing nothing, losing nothing is better than gaining.

January 28, 2006 12:21 PM  
Blogger Moxie said...

Wow. Good for you.

I have a few pointers about the low-carb/no sugar thing, if you want them. I don't know if you're still nursing Party Girl, but if you are, watch out because it can make your milk supply go down. You'll have to eat a few servings of whole grains and fruits every day to keep your supply up. Also, you might not have enough energy to exercise if you cut out carbs completely, so if you have no energy add in some good carbs for energy.

Also, you can go through a nasty physical withdrawal on days 2-5. You might feel weepy, depressed, achy, like your bones are noodles, and just like a big, whiny, incompetent baby. It's the carb withdrawal talking. Eat more green vegetables or soak in a bath of Epsom salts to get past it.

If you're having uncontrollable carb cravings, take the amino acid l-glutamine (you can get it in capsules at a health food store). Take 1-2 before breakfast, before lunch, before dinner, and before bed. The l-glutamine hits your seratonin receptors the same way carb sugars do, so the cravings won't be as strong.

Good luck, and you won't lose anything going low carb for the first week, but then it'll come off on days 9-14.

January 28, 2006 10:29 PM  
Blogger Her Grace said...

Moxie,

Wow, thanks! That was a ton of useful information.

It's funny, because my Mom and I were just talking yesterday, and I told her that I'd had no carbs and no sugar, and that it had been pretty easy, but that I'd decided not to do it.

I think I could pull it off, but it goes against what I said in the beginning; I want to eat what my family is eating. I don't want to make 2 separate dinners, I don't want to have to worry when we go out to dinner. My focus when I started was portion control, and I need to remember that.

Second, I want to keep up the exercise, and I want to keep increasing it. I like the way my body is starting to feel -- strong and toned (though it doesn't look that way yet!) I don't want to cheat my body of nutrients when I'm asking it to work so hard.

Your post confirmed my decision. Though PG has been weaned, I have enough trouble with fluctuating moods, that I need to be going through any major withdrawals, and again, like you said, I need energy to exercise.

That said, I think I'm going to front load with protein. I'll eat my salad, my lean meat, my veggies first, then add a small amount of whatever carb we're eating.

But the ban on sugar is still in place. No sweets for now. Sorry Fat Self!

January 29, 2006 9:44 AM  
Blogger Christi Nielsen said...

I love this post!

Once you're off sugar for a few weeks, one small bite will make you sick. Shows you just what it does to the body.

January 30, 2006 10:25 AM  

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