June 09, 2006

Not This Week

I was born about 10 months before my cousin Jenn. Our moms are sisters and very close and we spent hours of our childhood playing together. Our favorite game for a few years was playing house/veterinarian in my room. We had our babies and we had our office where we helped sick animals. What we didn't have were husbands. It's not like we had made up husbands/fathers for our babies that just didn't play into the picture. They weren't off working or doing other things that dads and fathers do. They just didn't exist. It was just her and I, our respective babies, and our thriving business.

Today, a family with two moms and no dad is not uncommon. Families come in all shapes and sizes. But then it was the 1970s and we were two small children living in nuclear families in Small Town, USA. We weren't progressive, we were just naive. My brother and our cousin Mike were too busy playing rock star* to be part of our game, so we just carried on without the Y chromosome. No biggie.

Until the 4th or 5th grade that is. That's when my mom bought me a book called What's Happening to Me? and Where Did I Come From? and we had a little talk. Then the school did their part with sex education. I came to our next playdate armed with knowledge.

Jenn got down to business setting up the babies and getting my little desk ready for customers.

"Umm," I said. "Who's going to be the dad? One of us has to play the daddy."

"What?" She looked confused. "We don't need a daddy. Those are your babies, this one's mine."

"Well. Um. We really do need a daddy," I said. "Let me tell you what I learned this week..."

Her eyes grew round and her bubble burst. Playing house was never the same again.

I don't know if Jenn would say that I let her down that day or helped her out. On one hand, she got a dicey piece of information a year earlier than she would have otherwise. On the other, I ruined a perfectly good game (and veterinary business.)

I let Jenn down again this week when I ungracefully bowed out of the 5K.

"What?" She emailed. "Hold on! NO!"

But I was firm. I haven't trained enough to run it, and I'm not interested in walking it. I also didn't come close to my weight loss goals which were tied in with it. I just didn't do what I said I was going to do. I let myself down and in turn let her down as well. And I'm sorry Jenn, I really am. I know this 5K meant a lot to you.

But...BUT! We've decided to try again in the fall. I looked around and found one in September -- a popular and unique race that goes across hilly and rough terrain. It'll take real dedication to get it done and I'm determined not to let Jenn (or myself) down again. Tonight I created a color-coded training spreadsheet in Excel that even scares me a little. It includes running every other day, still on the Couch to 5K plan. It includes the T-Tapp bootcamp, starting tomorrow and then every other day almost until the race. It also includes one day a week of only fruits and vegetables and one day a week of no more than 1000 calories to speed up the weight loss. (All other days should fall roughly in the 15-1600 calorie range.) I'm ready to jump back into a program and I think this is it.

I'm going to tackle you 5K, I really am.

*(Let me tell you a little about rock star. Rock star was only for the boys. Jenn and I were allowed to be back up singers, guitar players, or occasionally drummers. We were never allowed to be the rock stars themselves. We were never allowed to thrash around and shoot pretend machine guns during Aldo Nova's Fantasy. Ever. If Jenn wasn't around, I'd take my place as a back up singer and I remember once we left the "concert" and went downstairs where my brother and Mike were mobbed by groupies. I wanted to be mobbed by groupies too, but they would not allow it. Men did not "mob" female rock stars. It just wouldn't happen, they explained. I was left on the sidelines, my fame undiscovered. Boys.)

4 Comments:

Blogger Margaret said...

I can just see mini-Mark and Mike thrashing around. Too funny. I wish I was there to play the family sans daddy game. It would have been good practice for me now!

You'll conquer that 5K. I just know you will.

May 31, 2006 9:48 PM  
Blogger Moxie said...

You mean you're not going to get drunk the night before, chug an Emergen-C, and then make yoru head explode while trying to run it?

Smart woman.

June 01, 2006 12:20 AM  
Blogger Jenn (formerly gibby23roarof84) said...

No apologies necessary! Just know that when you're ready, so am I, and we're going to do it together! So September it is...I KNOW you can do it. I was laughing out loud remembering our childhood...I forgot how absolutely insane we were. You didn't wreck anything for me, by the way, just gave me a fabulous story on how I learned about sex. :-)
Love ya!

June 01, 2006 8:52 AM  
Blogger Her Grace said...

Margaret -- I wish you'd been there too, though it wasn't too many years after that I was avoiding eye contact with you on my walk home from school :)

Moxie -- Sure! I'll get drunk! Sure! I'll chug and Emergen-C! But no, I won't run it. Two out of three?

Jenn -- September. We're on.

June 01, 2006 1:15 PM  

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