Blue-Collar Dog

Behind their serene, innocent faces the cats are smirking. They are sneaking into the guest room to roll around on their backs and revel in the hilarity of it all. It's even possible they're having clandestine kitty meetings in the basement to give each other secret high-fives.

What's causing so much kitty mirth around here?

Whenever we go to the vet, JoJo tries to escape her collar and run out the door. Then she tries to hide all of her 90 lbs under the chairs and usually ends up knocking them over. I used to think she was afraid of being vaccinated, but now I know what really strikes such fear in her heart. This:

Yes, blue is the new beige. Hemlines are rising on dogs these days, all the way up to their necks in fact. This stylish mini can be yours for only $8 and a leg infection!

Or something. The vets are a little vague. They've prescribed weeks of heavy-dosed antibiotics, plus a cream that smells pleasantly like oregano. But is it infected? Meh. Maybe, they say. Or it could be this or it could be that. Let's just try this and see.

Embarrassment. A sure fire way to cure a dog.

With the collar in the above position, JoJo can eat, walk, and sleep in relative physical comfort -- important, because the vet insists we must not take it off for the next two weeks unless we are sitting on top of her. She must stop licking. According to them, once a dog starts licking an irritated area, it because imprinted on their brains. This is my elbow that I lick. I must always, always lick my elbow. Much like me and doughnuts. Here is a doughnut. Doughnuts are good! I must always, always eat doughnuts. Same concept, different outcome.

But really it's supposed to look like this:

If we plug her tail into the TV, we get 165 channels!

Really, JoJo. We aren't laughing at you, we're laughing...oh hell, we're laughing at you a little, ok? But not nearly as much as the cats are and with 100% undying affection. And we sincerely hope you get better soon. (Because there's no way I'm taking you running looking like that!)

Now that he has something to help him transmit his message into space, Wiley moves forward with his plans to take over the world...