July 12, 2006

Look! Something Shiny!

One New Year's Eve, a "few" years ago (I don't want to count how many) my friend Amy invited a few of us to her parents cottage up north to celebrate. The next morning I dropped her off at her apartment and returned to my own. The phone was ringing as I unlocked my door. I ran to pick it up:

"Bethany? Can you come back over?" It was Amy.

"What? Why? I just dropped you off!"

"Something's weird here...I think someone may have broken in. Or something..." Her voice tapered off. Her roommates were out of town for the entire holiday break and she was alone.

I found her sitting at her kitchen table looking concerned and confused. She hadn't called the police, not sure if something is weird qualified as an emergency. I looked around the apartment. The kitchen and living room seemed to be undisturbed, but as we both looked down the dark back hallway something indeed seemed to be weird. She had been afraid to go check it out on her own and now we both stood looking down toward the bedrooms trying to figure out just exactly what was wrong.

As we walked toward the first bedroom, we realized what it was. The "L" part of the hallway that led to the bathroom wasn't there. The opposite wall was pushed out about 3 feet.

"What the hell.....?" We both said together. We went in to her bedroom and though it looked relatively undisturbed, a few things had been knocked to the floor. In addition, her bedroom was smaller.

Things were definitely weird in there.

Finally we opened her roommate's bedroom --the one at the back of the floor level apartment -- and things got a whole lot weirder.

It was gone.

Where her back wall had been was a massive hole and we were looking out onto the new fallen snow outside. The room and all its contents were destroyed.

Stunned and shaken, Amy called the police. They were a little more nonchalant than I liked.

"Oh good, you called. Yeah, last night a man had some sort of seizure and lost control of his truck and it hit your apartment."

Just a little fender bender, sorry for the inconvenience.

"We tried to call the apartment leasing office, but they're closed for the holiday and we couldn't reach anyone."

What makes the accident more impressive is that there wasn't even a road behind her apartment. There was a small drive off to the left of it and to hit it where he did he had to go off of that small drive and fit exactly through a gap between a large tree and a big metal heating unit at a high rate of speed. There were literally inches to spare on either side, but he managed -- and while unconscious!

I forget now how it was all resolved, I remember Amy calling her roommates, Yeah, New Year's Eve was wild. I crashed at my parent's cottage, and a truck crashed at our place. And I remember her shaking her head saying, A truck in my apartment on New Year's Day. This is going to be one heck of a year.

And that 100% true and diversionary story is my post for July 12.

What's that? You were expecting something more? Oh. An update on my 60-day diet and fitness bootcamp as promised? Um. Ok.

I did it for a week and lost three pounds and then I quit and gained it back plus one more for good measure. The end.

Happy?

4 Comments:

Blogger Jenn (formerly gibby23roarof84) said...

That only counts as a quasi-post. I can't complain too much since I just started trying to be faithful to my postings, so I'll cut ya some slack.
I think the humidity has thrown the scales of the universe off, and they are all giving whack information. (That's what I've attributed my gain to. I'm POSITIVE it has NO correlation to the smores)

July 12, 2006 12:21 PM  
Anonymous Lisa V said...

This post must be read with Bruce Springsteen singing "One Step Up and Two Steps Back." It's the story of my weight loss life Bethany. I can't decide if I have made peace or given up, but I don't diet anymore.

I was hoping aliens had made the hole.

July 12, 2006 9:16 PM  
Blogger Margaret said...

Even though I knew what the "something weird" was all along, I was giggling through that whole story. It's classic.

July 12, 2006 9:22 PM  
Anonymous janey said...

Brilliant Story
But Bethany, Bethany, Bethany. How are we ever gonna lose this weight? We both keep doing the same thing!!!!!!

July 13, 2006 3:49 AM  

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