September 18, 2006

Egads.

I had an interview today. A position that kind of dips its toes in the waters of what I used to do, but I can do it from home. A win-win situation.

But the interview?

VERBAL DIARRHEA.

I can not begin to tell you how bad it was. Things kept coming out of my mouth, and it's like I was standing next to myself -- mouth agape -- yelling SHUT UP WOMAN and DO YOU NOT HAVE AN INTELLIGENT WORD IN YOUR VOCABULARY?

And then. THEN..

She asked some very basic questions about how I would handle some very basic situations and all I could muster was Um. Er. I was frantically drawing on the notepad in front of me, trying to figure it out while still sounding like I actually had a brain. I ended up sounding like I was going to burp up a hat.

If I only had a brain. Where has it gone? Has it been sacrificed to the washing machine? My IQ points nursed out to my babies? Is it under the couch where all other missing pieces go? I used to have one. I used to be able to sit down with people in my industry and know what I was talking about. I went to interviews without one butterfly flitting in my stomach, confident in my abilities. There was a time when, due to shortages the unique combination of my degrees -- that I was almost always offered positions following an interview. I had a career and I was good at it.

They gave me the job. Probably, they were just looking for a warm body with the right credentials. I'm happy. It's only about 8 hours a week, but it'll make our car payment with spare change for all that organic milk my girls seem to think grows on trees. So yay, but I am left feeling a little desperate about what will happen when it's time for me to return to the real workforce.

My dream is to piece together enough paying jobs to get Party Girl to first grade and Sass to third before I go back full-time. I'm doubtful we can pull that off, but I'm hoping we can at least get them to preschool and first. If I could find a part-time position in my field, we'd be ok long term -- but those are hard to come by. But today's interview has me worried. I fear I've been out of the workforce too long already. I couldn't even answer one of her questions. My brain is mush, MUSH. I need to do some serious work -- like T-Tapp but for my brain. Maybe some crosswords or some Suduko. And then I need to dive back in to my field. I need to start reading and participating and quit deleting emails from groups I used to belong to. It's a lot more competitive out there than when I left, and with a generation of younger, cheaper grads underneath me who are on top of their game, well...let's just say that before my next interview there'll be a few butterflies flopping around where there used to be none.

5 Comments:

Blogger Margaret said...

Congratulations!

September 18, 2006 8:18 PM  
Anonymous Shevvi said...

Don't feel bad. Interviewing is a skill like everything else. I had my first interview in 11 years in Feb and totally flubbed it. I interviewed a lot over the spring an got much better at it finally landing my dream job in July.

September 18, 2006 9:43 PM  
Blogger Lauren said...

Congratulations! How great is it to be able to work from home. You must have not been as bad as you thought if they gave you the job. I always feel I am a disaster at interviews. I don't do them enough to be good at them.

September 19, 2006 8:54 AM  
Blogger Jenn (formerly gibby23roarof84) said...

Didn't you know that each day spent caring for your children, multiplied by the amount of children that you have is the number of brain cells that you lose on a daily basis? Well, "lose" might be too harsh of a word--they just transfer information, like instead of remembering the top three reasons you should be hired, they remember the Barney theme and how to work a carseat. :)

September 19, 2006 3:45 PM  
Blogger Moxie said...

But it is much easier to get a job when you already have one. This 8 hours a week is going to make it so much easier for you to get another job later on.

September 20, 2006 9:01 PM  

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